Ivan The Cobbler

UN-Broadcast 1994 pilot Never broadcast on the BBC or anywhere else

Producer

Dirk Maggs

Produced for

BBC Radio Light Entertainment

Synopsis

So it happened that one day Master Ryu was walking in the garden, and he came across his disciples. Sujin, one of his more vociferous disciples, was expounding on the beauty and balance of nature and how they as humans must try to emulate that balance. All his students turned to the master to listen about his thoughts on the matter. Master Ryu related to them the following story:

In the town of Moclheka in Belarus, there lived a cobbler named Ivan. Ivan was a very devout man; he had lost his wife and children to the Cholera and had ever since devoted his life to prayer and cobbling. Every night before going to bed he prayed to the lord to give him strength and remain true to his teachings. Every morning, he set out to work with the zeal of a missionary and worked till the light of the sun perished. One night Ivan had a dream. In his dream Ivan saw God standing in front of him, shining in all his glory. Overwhelmed Ivan fell to the ground and shook with immense pleasure and fear. Then God said to Ivan “I am pleased with you Ivan, tomorrow I shall visit your house”. On hearing this Ivan was truly overjoyed.

As the light of sun touched his window Ivan jumped out of the bed in great fervor. The lord was coming to his house today. he swept and washed his dusty floor, laid out his only possessions on the table, two china plates and two silver spoons. Then he took out his dearest possession, a bottle of wine that his wife had bought for him the day before she had fallen sick. A bottle that he had not opened in hopes of sharing with his wife when she got better but she had died. Today, he thought would be a the time to open this bottle for God himself was coming to his house. Then Ivan stood on his door and waited patiently.

Soon the road was bustling with morning activity. People were hurrying to their shops and fields. Ivan saw an old man walking slowly on the street sweeping the dirt. His slippers were frayed and his clothes ragged. Feeling sorry for the old man, Ivan decided to invite him into his house

“Old man, you toil in the gray morning so that the rest of us may walk on clean roads. But I have never seen anybody utter a word of gratitude to you. Come to my humble abode and have a glass of water”, said Ivan.

The sweeper, a bit surprised gratefully accepted the invitation. He gingerly came into Ivan’s house and sat on a chair. Ivan, his heart filled with joy, for having done his first good deed of the day went out back to get glass of water.

Now the sweeper was a rascally old man and a thief. He could not believe his luck that somebody had invited him to their house. Clearly there were fools even in this age, he thought. And wonder of wonders – there were two silver spoons lying there right on the table for the taking. Quickly he slipped the spoons into his pockets and was about to scamper off when Ivan appeared holding a glass of water.

Slightly startled the sweeper quickly put on an innocent pitiful face and gratefully drank the glass of water. He thanked Ivan profusely (making sure Ivan did not look at the table) and took his leave of him. Then he hurried off, eager to disappear before Ivan noticed the missing spoons.

Ivan feeling happy and contended resumed his vigil on the door. Soon a few hours passed, and the sun was at the top of the sky however Ivan kept his patience. There were very few people walking in the noon sun. But then Ivan saw the most pitiful figure. A woman in ragged clothes, she held a thin woeful baby in her arms. She walked with a limp and begged the people to spare some food for her baby. Ivan’s heart melted at the sight as he thought of his wife and child. How could he bear to see this unfortunate pair suffer like this?

“Hail my good woman, why do you roam in these unkind streets? Come inside my house take some rest, have some food, and rest this poor baby of yours”, said Ivan.

The woman was incredibly grateful for the offer and came in and sat on the chair. Ivan brought out some bread and porridge and laid it on the China plates and ate his lunch with the woman. Ivan was enraptured by the baby it looked just like his son! The same eyes and that same beautiful smile. Ivan had loved his son very much and had made a beautiful pair of shoes for him to wear when he started walking. He still had those shoes locked away in his chest. but now they lay gathering dust. But wait! wouldn’t they look perfect on this baby. Shoes were meant to be worn, and he had been selfish in hording those shoes. Yes! they would be perfect for this baby. Ivan asked the woman to wait for him and then went out back to get the shoes.

Now this old woman was the queen of the local ring of beggars. She had stolen this baby and was using it to beg, for nothing roused more sympathy than a hungry baby (She kept the baby hungry so that it would cry and attract more sympathy). But she had hit gold here – the China plates on the table looked quite valuable and she was itching to get her hands on them. As soon as Ivan left, she quickly scooped the plates off the table and made her way out of Ivan’s house and disappeared into the many lanes that only beggars know of.

Meanwhile Ivan took out his prized shoes from the chest under the bed and held them in his hands. A single tear fell from his right eye as he was overwhelmed by the memory of his son. He walked slowly out of his bedroom to present the woman with this gift. But what was this there was no woman and the China plates, and the silver spoon were gone from the table. Thieves! Ivan’s sorrow soon turned to rage – he had invited the woman to his house and given her food, and this is how she repays his charity – she steals from him! This is what you get for being kind and being charitable. He was robbed! And he was planning to give his choicest creation to this very same woman. Blinded by rage he ran out to the street; the woman was nowhere to be seen. But he saw group of soldiers passing by. He cried out to them

“O noble soldiers, listen to this poor old man. I have been robbed, robbed blind on this holiest day. Robbed by those who I helped. Robbed for being kind and charitable. Now you, the upholders of law, the most noble men must bring to justice to those wretches.” The captain calmed Ivan down and asked him to take him and his men to his house. There Ivan told them of his sad story. But these soldiers, were just back from long war, were not interested in Ivan’s plight – rather they had seen the bottle of wine and were itching to get their hand on it. The captain looking at his men sat Ivan down and explained to him that as a soldier he had no authority in this land, it was after all a matter for the police. But he could punish this ignoble thief that had robbed Ivan as a personal favour. He would do this only because Ivan looked like an honest man. But his men were weary from a long march and were thirsty …

Ivan understood their intent and got enraged even more. They wanted to drink his wine, the wine that he had been keeping for God, the only thing he had left for him. Blind with anger he flew into an implacable rage and started cursing the soldiers. The soldiers were already weary, and the captain lost his temper, how dare this old man curse him – the man who defended this country. Soon Ivan was beaten black and blue. The soldiers drank his wine, ransacked his house, and left him lying bleeding and unconscious on his floor.

Suujin had been getting restless as the story progressed and he could not control himself, “Master this is just a story, in truth nature does not tolerate such an imbalance. Also, Ivan was being foolish – charity should not be blind. Nature is fair but not charitable – it lets the fit thrive and the weak are shorn.”

But at this Master Ryu spoke, “But do you not want to know of what happened to those who robbed Ivan? ”

At this Suujin fell silent and master Ryu continued:

“The rascally old thief was robbed and killed by a greedy shopkeeper when he tried to sell the silver spoons. The old beggar woman grew proud of her China plates and started eating her food from them. Her followers grew jealous of her possessions and killed her and elected a new beggar queen who sold the plates and distributed the money among the beggars. The soldiers had a more interesting fate. Ivan’s wife had been an unfaithful woman, and she had poisoned the wine in hopes of getting rid of Ivan and marrying her lover. But she had died first, and Ivan had never drunk from the bottle. The soldiers who drank from the wine fell sick in the camp and died a very painful death.”

At this Suujin gave a big smile, “I am sorry Master, I understand the lesson now. Nature is fair and just but it takes her own way. We may not completely understand her way, but it is just and true.”

At this another disciple Zhangzhou said “Hear Suujin, now he agrees with the master. Truly this is the lesson – we as human turn events to mean what we wish. Suujin would leap to agree with Master when his teaching agree with what the Master thinks. It is in the same manner that Ivan was filled with piety in the morning and could not see the bad in people. But later when he realized their treachery he was filled with hatred, and it brought his downfall.”

Before Suujin could answer, Master Ryu replied “But do you not want to know what happened to Ivan?”

At this again the disciples fell silent, and Master Ryu said “The king’s men came arrested Ivan accusing him of poisoning the soldiers. He was hanged for his offense.”

At this the disciples fell silent. Then Moon Soo, who was very silent, spoke “We must be careful in studying nature because it is very easy to mistake random acts for divine justice.”

At this Mater Ryu got up and resumed his walk as his disciples started arguing again, Moon Soo’s words already lost.

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Comment by Dirk Maggs

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Running Time

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